'How do you get 2 whales in a mini?'

'Along the M4 and across the Severn Bridge.'

A rather lame joke that had me in stitches as a child, but the last laugh belonged to Cardiff, who will be making the opposite journey on 26 February to fulfil a Wembley date with Liverpool.

The Bluebirds needed penalties to overcome a dogged Crystal Palace and next up is a trip to Southampton which could see them leapfrog the long-time leaders into second place.

Saints relinquished top spot after a shock home defeat to Leicester followed West Ham's win over Nottingham Forest.

When Southampton boss Nigel Adkins was asked why they were beaten, he refreshingly replied: "Because they were better than us."

Although not quite as refreshing as the Gordon Strachan classic from a few years' back: "So Gordon, in what areas do you think they were better than you?" "What areas? Mainly that big green one out there."

West Ham's win came courtesy of Johnny on the Spot Mark Noble, who tucked away another two penalties, taking his tally to six for the season.

Incredibly some fans were still not happy, with 'Bulldog' on the Knees Up Mother Brown forum writing: "My great concern is we're winning through penalty shots, instead of kicking clear and putting teams away through penetrating attack."

'Steptoe' replied: "Maybe we should miss them on purpose to make it more of a game?"

Meanwhile, 'Bramwell' claimed the win was down to him buying some 'lucky chickens'. He asked if fellow fans could think of Hammers-related names for them, with Nigel Reo Yolker and Hen Roeder the pick of the bunch.

The result of the weekend had to be Coventry's 3-1 defeat of nine-man Middlesbrough, while the best performance came from Millwall's Darius Henderson, who fired his second hat-trick in five days as the Lions enjoyed a fine victory at Barnsley.

The striker would no doubt be on the list of most Wall fans' perfect dinner guests but instead contributors on the House of Fun messageboard had to make do with watching one of their own on Come Dine With Me.

When asked to give a prediction about what the lovely Lioness would serve up, one wag suggested "Bovril in wine glasses".

Elsewhere, Hull's Barmby Army marched on with a 1-0 win at Reading to keep them in the automatic hunt and Birmingham are coming up on the rails like a champion thoroughbred after edging out Watford.

Leeds are also right in amongst it as old boy Fabian Delph returned on loan from Aston Villa to inspire the Yorkshire side to a 3-1 win over struggling Ipswich.

Delph said: "My mum is happy to have me back at home and won't stop bugging me. At least I'll get some proper food down me." And possibly the nickname 'Timothy Lumsden' from his old muckers.

As for Ipswich, one miserable punter on the TWTD forum summed their plight up by writing: "Every game is like Sunday."

In League 1, the city of Sheffield must be sick to the back teeth of Johnnie Jackson after the Charlton midfielder smashed in a 20-yard free-kick to sink United, a week after doing exactly the same to neighbours Wednesday.

Fans on the Blades Mad website were furious at reports of James Beattie's sending off until someone posted up a picture of the big striker with his hands clasped tightly around Yann Kermorgant's throat.

With Charlton seven points clear at the top, there's a titanic battle going on in the race to finish second, with the two Sheffield clubs and Huddersfield locked on 53 points.

With only two promotion places up for grabs - unless the Latics slip up - the trio know at least one of them is going to look a proper Yorkshire pudding at the end of the season.

Huddersfield are currently second on goal difference and they also saw off their neighbours in the chants stakes, with this offering from 'Boot Boy' on the Down At The Mac messageboard:

"We're not Real Madrid,
"We're not Barcelona,
"We are Huddersfield Town,
"And Dean Hoyle is our owner."

Stevenage are also going well and this week named their successor to Graham Westley as Gary Smith, which met with the collective response: "Who?"

He is of course the former coach of US Major League side Colorado Rapids, who turned out 66 times for Wycombe in the early 90s (thank the Lord Wikipedia didn't decide to black out their service again today).

At the bottom there were impressive wins for Chesterfield and Wycombe, while at Bury there was an outbreak of handbags as Giles Coke and Steve Schumacher had an amazing spat over who should take a penalty in the 3-2 win over Yeovil.

When I first saw the words Coke and Schumacher in the same headline, I feared some sort of Formula 1 scandal but in the event it merely proved to be (quite literally) a spot of bother.

Schumacher eventually drove/steered/piloted (insert your own driving pun here) the ball home and admitted: "I'm glad it went in - I'd have looked a right fool!" I think you'd already done a fine job of that old son.

The race for promotion from League 2 is hotting up, with Southend, Cheltenham and Crawley all locked on 52 points.

Crawley conceded a 90th minute equaliser at lowly Plymouth thanks to a spectacular overhead kick from Maxime Blanchard, Southend went down 2-1 at Shrewsbury, while Bristol Rovers, under the tutelage of new boss Mark McGhee, were shock winners at Cheltenham.

Afterwards, a modest McGhee said: "How can I claim any of that? I've only been here two days!"

Try telling that to fans on the Bristol Rovers forum, who have already taken the Scot to their hearts, with 'East London Gas' coming up with a song to the tune of Let It Be:

"Mark McGhee, Mark McGhee,
"Have a cider, on me."
"Don't drink pints of whisky, Mark McGhee!"

Well I never said it was a good song, did I?

Elsewhere, AFC Wimbledon earned back-to-back wins, Crewe thumped Dagenham 4-1 and Northampton stay bottom, with confident fans on the Hotel End forum setting up a thread entitled 'Relegation Watch'.

One of the best tales of the week involved Oxford defender Michael Duberry, who scored the imperfect hat-trick - one for his own side and two for Hereford.

The former Leeds and Chelsea man, who collects OGs for fun, claimed afterwards "I don't mind that because it shows I'm doing my job and trying to get into positions to defend."

As excuses go, that's right up there with "My dog ate the homework."

And finally, the story of the week was Swindon boss Paolo Di Canio's incredible rant during the 1-0 win over Macclesfield, which saw him sent to the stands on his first game back from a touchline ban.

The Italian was like a whirling dervish as he protested about a free-kick he felt his side should have been awarded.

Di Canio said afterwards: "I will move my body, my arms, my shoulders, my legs. They can't send me off every time. And if they do want to send me off every game, no problem. I will win this league anyway because my team is a strong team."

And the funny thing is, you wouldn't back against it.

Have a good weekend, one and all.

To contact Chris with an interesting story/quote/chant to share, then email him on chris.charles@football-league.co.uk or contact him via Twitter at http://twitter.com/chris__charles.