While Harry Redknapp spent his week addressing a courtroom, his old mate Sam Allardyce could present no case for the defence.

On paper it appeared all Big Sam's table-topping West Ham side had to do was show up at Portman Road to pick up three points against struggling Ipswich.

In the event, the team with the best defence in the Championship let in five while the side with the worst conceded just one.

Big Sam peppered his post-match inquest with words like 'shock', 'poor' and 'disintegrated', while fans on West Ham's Knees Up Mother Brown messageboard decided to write it off as one of those things and concentrate on the exciting deadline day signings of Ricardo Vaz Te, Nicky Maynard and troubled teenager Ravel Morrison, seemingly named after his mum's two favourite shops.

Maynard's arrival drew the odd comment - "I like his wine gums" - and the odd song - "Hey Nicky you're so fine, you're so fine you blow my mind, hey Nicky!" - but it was the arrival of Manchester United youngster Morrison that caused the biggest stir.

Sir Alex Ferguson said: "He's got a great talent, but it's how to deal with it. I think he's better out of Manchester."

He's got a point. What better place for a man to start afresh than in the loving bosom of the East End - beloved home of the Kray twins, Jack the Ripper, Dirty Den…

Despite the pummelling by Ipswich, West Ham are still two points clear at the top of the Championship after Southampton and Cardiff shared the spoils at St Mary's, while Blackpool edged into the Play-Off places with a last-gasp win over bottom side Coventry.

Birmingham are also right in the mix after Nikola Zigic scored all four goals in their thrashing of Leeds at Elland Road - a result that cost Simon Grayson his job.

Neil Warnock was the early front-runner for the post, with 'pjh603' (is that a user name or a reference number?) on the 'Unofficial Leeds United' messageboard claiming: "I received a text from a mate who was on the King's Cross to Leeds train stating Warnock was in his carriage."

'Guiseley White' replied: "That's weird, 'cos I saw him driving through Leeds today in a 2CV."

Another user added: "I prefer to think of him trotting up the M1 astride a glorious white stallion."

'pjh603' later conceded: "Maybe he was going to Tropical World or the Royal Armouries."

It was a bad weekend for two of Warnock's former clubs in the FA Cup, as Sheffield United were whacked 4-0 by free-scoring Birmingham and Notts County were knocked out by Stevenage, earning Boro a plum fifth round tie at home to Spurs.

Meanwhile, after years spent living off the Battle of Hastings, Sussex can now add a pair of giant-killings to its name.

While poor old Harold copped an arrow in the eye, Newcastle and Hull received a dagger to the heart as Brighton and Crawley put their county back on the map with fourth round shocks.

A Mike Williamson own goal did for the Geordies after he diverted Will Buckley's hopeful shot into the net.

It was a bitter-sweet moment for Toon fan Buckley, who said: "I didn't really want to celebrate - everyone just jumped on me!

"You could see from the goal that I did my best to put it wide! I didn't think I was going to score and then it went in."

As for Williamson, it was an unwanted piece of déjà vu after he put through his own net to hand Stevenage victory at the same stage last season.

Incidentally, in a recent initiative aimed at getting kids interested in reading, did the Magpies defender name his favourite all-time book as:

a) War and Peace
b) The Catcher & The Rye or
c) Bob Wilson's Ultimate Collection of Peculiar Sporting Lingo

Go on, take a wild guess.

Crawley were left in FA Cup heaven after a trip to Hull and back, as Matt Tubbs fired them into a fifth round meeting with Stoke.

It was to be the final act as a Crawley player for Tubbs who, after well-documented loan spells with Miami Vice and the League of Gentlemen, joined Bournemouth in a club-record deal.

The Cherries had a few days off from the hustle and bustle of the League 1 Play-Off chase as their rivals enjoyed mixed results

Actually some didn't enjoy them at all, especially not Carlisle, thumped 4-0 by fellow contenders Hartlepool. Fans on the CUFC Online forum were encouraged to list the positives from the performance, with 'RedRobBlue' saying: "The best thing to take from the game is that it is now over."

Brentford were the big winners in every sense of the word as they thumped Wycombe 5-2, with Gary Alexander helping himself to a hat-trick - taking his tally to 10 in the last nine games.

Cruel Bees fans renamed their opponents 'Why Come?' - while taking delight in Gareth Ainsworth looking for the dugout on the wrong side of the pitch.

Runaway leaders Charlton extended their advantage to 10 points after a win and a draw, while Jordan Rhodes scored league goal number 27 as Huddersfield drew 1-1 with Tranmere. Although the biggest result for the Terriers was keeping their star man out of the clutches of the transfer window vultures.

Sheffield Wednesday shared the spoils with MK Dons, while Preston were forced to watch the goals go by as an Andy Williams double eased Yeovil's relegation fears.

In League 2, Cheltenham went top with a 3-1 win at Macclesfield, Swindon moved ominously into second with a shock 4-1 thrashing of Southend at Roots Hall and Bristol Rovers saw off Bradford, making it two wins from two under new boss Mark McGhee, Barnet's Izale McLeod took his tally to 20 for the season as the Underhill Mob recorded their fourth win on the bounce against nine-man Crewe, while Oxford's Alfie Potter borrowed brother Harry's wand to score a magical goal against Burton.

Elsewhere, Doe was a dear for Dagenham as he hit the winner in the best of five against Rotherham, while Michael Smith's hat-trick proved decisive for Accrington in a seven-goal thriller with Gillingham.

Gills boss Andy Hessenthaler was so disgusted with the performance he is to refund the 261 hardy souls who made the trip, which will come as a welcome bonus to all the visiting fans - unless you're a Gills exile who caught the £1.40 bus from Oswaldtwistle.

Torquay recorded their fifth straight win after edging out rock-bottom Northampton, with the Cobblers responding to their relegation conundrum by pulling off a coup to sign Countdown champion Clarke Carlisle on loan from Burnley.

I'll leave you with this song suggestion for the new hero from 'Gen Disorda' on Northampton's Hotel End forum:

"He'll win your pub quiz, He'll win your pub quiiiiiz,
"Clarke Carlise, he'll win your pub quiz!"

Think we'll have to call last orders on that one.

Have a good weekend one and all.

To contact Chris with an interesting story/quote/chant to share, then email him on chris.charles@football-league.co.uk or contact him via Twitter at http://twitter.com/chris__charles.