Name: Warren Feeney
Date of birth: 17/1/1981
Club: Cardiff City
Position: Striker

What car do you drive?
A black BMW X5 and a light blue BMW M5.

First car?
A Vauxhall Astra, which I've still got. It's just a bit of a run around.

Favourite Film?
Scarface.

Favourite TV programme?
Ultimate Force. I watched every episode. I quite like the SAS stuff.

Favourite band or artist?
Wet Wet Wet. I like their chilled out tunes. Most footballers love R 'n B. I can't hear that stuff.

Most expensive item you've bought?
I never buy anything for myself. A £480 Gucci bag would be the most extravagant. I bought my wife a Cartier ring, which was over the odds.

Do you do DIY?
I put in a washing machine two days ago. That was the first thing I have ever done. My wife normally does the DIY. She does everything - fixes shelves, carpentry, plumbing. Dinner is always cooked, too.

Perfect woman - apart from wife/girlfriend?
My mum. Failing that, Demi Moore. I like all the old school. Better than what there is now. There's more to them.

The lads are over for dinner, what do you cook?
Sausage and mash. I'm good at that. Accompanied by about 25 packets of crisps and 18 cans of beer per person!

If you were the manager of the club, who would you sign?
Jonny Evans. He has that bit of arrogance about him. Nothing fazes him. He has a huge future in the game. He will go on to be world class and captain Manchester United.

Best mate in football?
The best man at my wedding was Harry Kewell. I've known him since we were Youth players at Leeds. We speak all the time. He's enjoying himself out in Galatasaray, although I haven't been out there to see him play. I hate flying long distances and I won't go out there until he comes to see me play first!

Room-mate on tour?
Gareth McAuley is my room-mate when I go away with Northern Ireland. No one else will share with him. He is crazy. He is the most unhygienic and untidy player I've ever seen. He will come in from training, put on his tracksuit and not get washed. He might have a shower before he goes to bed. Sometimes he doesn't bother. He cleans his boots in the bath as well. I've never seen him with more than two pairs of underpants on a 10-day tour. Our room stinks. It absolutely reeks. No one else will come near it. I've asked him to move a few times but none of the other lads are ever free! Funny that.

Best prank on tour?
At Luton Town, our manager Mike Newell was on the receiving end of a good one when we were on a tour to Bulgaria. We had all been out one night and some of the boys unscrewed the door handle on Newell's hotel room door. He asked if he could come in our room, which had an extra bed - one of those that springs back on to the wall when you are not using it. We fiddled with it a bit ready for when he jumped in. So Newell gets in and within seconds he goes flying back to the wall, splat... We were in stitches. It was quite a sight seeing the manager like that but he took it very well. Newell was a big prankster himself. He could give it and take it and that's why he did so well with the boys around him.

Do you play golf?
I play golf but I don't have a handicap. I prefer to joke around rather than take it too seriously. I just don't have the patience to walk around marking a card. I prefer to watch other people shanking the ball and making fun of them.

If you weren't a footballer, what would you be doing?
I would be in the Army. Definitely. I didn't have the brains to do anything else when I left school. The Army is a challenge, in terms of staying fit and disciplined. I quite enjoy being shouted at and the idea that you can't make any mistakes. What they do in the Army is amazing. You have to look up to them. They are the real heroes. A friend of mind lost his life in Afghanistan last month when he stepped on a roadside landmine. He was buried last week.

Most embarrassing moment in football?
When I was at Luton I missed an open goal from six yards. I had taken the ball around the goalkeeper and I thought it was too easy and didn't concentrate properly. I'm right footed and it was with my left foot but that's no excuse. I didn't even hit the post - I hit it wide of the goal. I was thinking about it the rest of the game although I did score the equaliser, which helped lessen the shame.

Life after football?
Hopefully a bit of coaching. I've already got my 'A' licence and would like to stay in the game. I'm 28 now and I would like to play for another five years or more. Only the lucky ones go on for longer than that. After that, I would definitely like to do some coaching.

Interesting fact we don't know about you?
My dad and grandad both played for Northern Ireland. I've got the most caps in the Feeney family, though, which I'm quite proud of. I don't think you would get good odds on my wee boy playing for Northern Ireland, too. He is 17 months old but he can already kick a ball out of his hands. It is frightening. He just picks up the ball and belts it. He has been walking since eight months. He just watches his older sisters.

Best freebie you've ever had?
The one that sticks in my mind was when I was Jimmy Floyd Hasselbaink's boot boy at Leeds. I made sure his boots were always immaculate and coming up to Christmas in his first season I thought I would be in for a good tip. All the other boys were getting £250 or £500. Jimmy was the big new signing so I was sure I would get something good. But he handed me an old pair of Nike boots that were two sizes too big for me. They were completely useless but it was a good freebie in that is was memorable.

Worst dressed player at the club?
Glenn Loovens wears the worst gear I have ever seen. He dresses in, like, purple Hummel tracksuits. The boys used to laugh at him but he would just look at you as if it was normal.

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